I really hope I am not paying for your decision for the rest of my life.

You decided where I was going to college.

I hated it then, I still hate it now. I don’t try, because I don’t care. I have NO desire to apply myself. I am doing what I can to get through. I do my homework. I study for tests but I don’t care. I don’t have the passion. I have passion for many things, but my classes are not one of them. I love school, I love learning, I love reading, but I HATE ESF so much. I hate my classes, I hate the topics, I hate my professors. I have no desire to learn what they are trying to teach me. I know this isn’t where I belong.

It is so easy to put on a happy face and say yeah I’m a junior at one of the top environmental schools in the country, i’m section leader of the Syracuse University Colorguard, I’m vice president of service of Tau Beta Sigma, I have a cute boyfriend, and I actually like my job. 

but honestly it all sucks. I hate my school and am no where near smart enough to keep up. guard is awful. I never ever thought in my life i would hate it, but i do. and i can’t isolate the problem and i can’t fix it. i want the guard to be respected  i hate that we are something that is looked down on, but i don’t know what i can do. 

TBS I can’t come up with ideas, people don’t have any desire to do them, and I don’t know what else to do. I try, and I just don’t have the time or effort to put in. Not sure what else to do there. And I just don’t have it in me. 

Brett, is….adorable. I love him to death, but things have just been so messy. And he doesn’t like me writing about him on here, so, I won’t. But I just don’t know. 

it would have been so difficult to transfer after a semester. It’s been hard enough getting through without having to worry about applications and getting in. Not that I would with my grades as is. I don’t know.  

I think Romney is an asshole.